Do Not Perceive Me As Shallow

Or do. It’s your life. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.

Clearly, I feel it is necessary to defend myself on this front. Okay honestly, it’s a coin toss because I’ll admit to being shallow. How about this- don’t think of me as just shallow. Baby, I’m like the ocean. I start of nice and superficial where you can stand in the surf and take pretty pictures for Instagram. Then, there’s a drop and a deep abyss and all the other shit the ocean has and the reasons Planet Earth has an underwater documentary. God, I love metaphors.

I'm using selfies for pictures on purpose

What am I actually babbling on about, though? Once upon a time, I told someone that “clothes make me happy.” Okay, you see it now, don’t you? What kind of person cares about their appearance all the time? *my hand shoots up in the background* There are so many ways to feel validated and joyful and I choose the clothes on my body. Later on, I wrote said person a ranting letter about how wrong they were. I’ll get to those reasons in a minute. But to be honest, I meant what I said at the time. A long time ago now, I decided I was content with seeming, being, shallow. I know there are more important things out there. There is poverty, disease, politics, you name it, going on in the world, but right now I only have the capacity to care about myself. Wow, shallow and self-involved? I really am the whole package! Here’s what I’m thinking- I’ll never be able to contribute to society, let alone function as a human being, if I’m forever taking on the world’s problems. Some people are great at it. I’m just not one of those people. So, those many years ago I thought to myself, “maybe it’s okay if I chose to care about things that are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.” And clothes do honestly make me happy. That’s about the most basic way to phrase it all. In the feather light explanation, I happen to enjoy picking out my outfit for the day, I love shopping, and I love wearing something that makes me feel like I can kick ass. Boom. Short and sweet. Keep reading if you want to dive down into a trench.

First of all, here is an excerpt from my letter to a person:

          I’m sorry that I didn’t really expound upon the reasons I said that clothes make me happy. It would’ve been much better said that fashion makes me happy. And, heck, blame it on society for making the whole industry and idea of it all seem so shallow. I’m sorry that is what you based your opinion and impression of me on and that you weren’t able to see past what others have thought before you. Shame on me for saying the word “clothes” because its implications are much different. It says, “Hi, I like to buy things and have things.” And for me, that’s true and I’d say that’s something I enjoy, but it’s a very small part of something larger. I see fashion as art. It’s touchable pieces of art that someone can express themselves with. There is a multitude of ways to analyze it all. Everyday people don’t necessarily get to experience this with the options we have access to. However, if I said art makes me happy, wouldn’t that have received a warmer welcome? It can be intellectual and inspiring and majestic and all those things apply to fashion for me.”

So, there’s that. The thing is it keeps going. Like I said, I reacquainted myself with my love of makeup and all things #beauty. I eventually want to have my own makeup line. It’s a whole other

from 20 People Who Are Very Confused About What "No Makeup" Looks Like @ Buzzfeed

world of judgment with boys saying they like the natural look of girls without makeup better and yada, yada, yada. This is what I get from it. It’s fun, it’s confidence building, and it’s art. That’s my foundation (lol) for it all. If I ever create a line it’s going to say, “Hey girl, you’re awesome the way you are, but if you want a fierce brow you should go for it!” And not that anyone reads this, but THIS IS MY INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY SO BACK OFF. I want it to be awesome and empowering and for people to benefit (badum chh!) from what I have to offer and at the same time be a successful women and supporting wife/mother.

I fully understand that they support my
self-involved/self-loving behavior :)

So, that’s a base of what I believe in on the arts/beauty/fashion front. I am a very visual person, so self-image (how you think of yourself and how you literally perceive yourself) is something I definitely consider in my life.

I’m pretty confident with my choices in life, but it’s easy to second guess yourself when it’s difficult to explain what’s going on up there in the ole melon. Hopefully, if someone else feels the same way I do they can find this article, send the link to their friends, and say “see? That’s what I mean.”

Xx, toodaloo!